Since having a baby I have changed. "How?" you may ask. Is it that I have adapted to never sleeping more than 5 hours at a time? Or that I have become more patient, learned to slow down when I need to nurse or wait to go out until after Zoe's nap time, gotten used to body function sounds, and grown to feel more grace in my heart towards parents with misbehaving children? Those things are true, but not what I am thinking about.
I have always liked children. I started babysitting at a young age, loved the nanny job that I had my first year out of college, and I intentionally sit beside children who are traveling alone on airplanes (really!). But now my liking children has somehow morphed into a crazy love for my own baby and fascination with every little thing she does. I am delighted and entertained when she makes a new clicking sound, when her first tooth starts to show up in her little gummy mouth, and when she stops nursing to grin at her daddy who has just burped loudly from the other side of the living room. There is no sound in the world that is more lovely than her laughter.
Having Zoe makes me more interested in other peoples' kids too. I used to think that babies were a little boring and prefer kids who can talk. Now I see that babies communicate in lots of ways! And every friends' baby is a potential friend for little Zoe as she grows up. :)
Yes, being a mommy is hard work. There are times when I am very tired but Zoe will not sleep. Sometimes I can't figure out how to comfort her. There are many things that I used to be able to do but cannot do now. But somehow even sleep deprivation and baby cries cannot take away the deep well of love and admiration that I feel towards my little Zoe. I am so amazingly blessed to have her in my life. She is so beautiful and so fun! I love watching her interact with people, herself, and her world.
I have been thinking about my fascination with Zoe and my love for her, and am reminded that God interacts with us as our parent. He has adopted us as His precious children. Is He as excited about my "baby steps" and development as I am about Zoe's? Does He really have a deep well of unconditional love for me and for each of us? I know in my head that the answers are yes and yes! But somehow this seems very significant and like something that I need to think more about.
How has being a parent changed your understanding of God's love?
No comments:
Post a Comment