Transition and Adventure

In 5 days it will be one year since I arrived in Indonesia. One year since I left family, friends, snow, sugar houses, and a language and culture that made sense to me and moved to the other side of the world.

eating french toast and pancakes at a sugar shack in Deerfield, MA one year ago

recent photo with Zoe

In just a few weeks (okay, about 6) I will finish language school and be done living in the town of Salatiga on the island of Java, Indonesia. Daniel, Zoe, and I will be serving with Mission Aviation Fellowship on the island of Papua. To be honest, part of me does not want to leave. Why not? Because I really like it here! This place, that almost a year ago was strange, new, and hot has become familiar and temperate. I am able to speak and understand enough of the Indonesian language to start to make friends with local people. There are so many people--both Indonesians and ex-pats--who I will dearly miss!

Also there is the thought "we've learned how to live here and soon it will all change" that keeps coming to my mind unbidden. I have been lying awake at night thinking about Transitions.

Upcoming Transitions:
I will finish language school April 13th.
On April 14th we will leave here and start our 5-flight journey back to the US for a mini-furlough. The purpose of this time is for Daniel to finish some training that was snowed out in December 2010 and for us to get to see family, friends, and supporters.
While in the US we plan to be in the New England area, Ohio, and Idaho. I hope Zoe travels well!
In late June we are flying from Idaho to Papua, Indonesia (via lots of cities of course).
Then we plan to live in Sentani, Papua for 6 months to 1 year for more training.
After that we will move somewhere else in Papua, but we don't know where yet.

I think the hardest thing for me is that I do not even know where I will eventually live. It is hard to plan for an unknown future.

But really, does any person know what will happen in the future?

I want to change my perspective and look at my Transitions as an Adventure. Instead of worrying about the many transitions and how my baby will adjust I can be thankful to be on a great adventure with my husband and baby and with my Trustworthy God.

"...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Mt. 28:20b)

Nourishment

This is a post that I have been meaning to write for some time.  It is kind of about nursing my baby.  Only kind of....please if you are male and reading my blog and nervous about things like mommies feeding babies don't worry.  No details or pictures on this subject, I promise. :)

When I had Zoe and started nursing her I found that sometimes she was hungry but would get her little hands into her mouth instead of eating.  I would try to gently move them out of her mouth and help her to latch on so that she could get the nourishment that she needed.  Sometimes she would sneak her hands back into her mouth and then get frustrated because sucking on her hands did not fill her stomach.  I thought:

Oh little girl, don't you know that milk tastes better than fingers?  My silly sweetheart, don't you see that you can't have both food and your hands in your mouth at the same time?  Don't you know what is good for you?

Then I heard God's gentle reminder speaking into my soul.  What are you trying to satisfy yourself with, my daughter?  Let me feed you with the food that you really need...

Psalm 81:10 says "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of Egypt.  Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."

The love of a parent

Since having a baby I have changed.  "How?" you may ask.  Is it that I have adapted to never sleeping more than 5 hours at a time?  Or that I have become more patient, learned to slow down when I need to nurse or wait to go out until after Zoe's nap time, gotten used to body function sounds, and grown to feel more grace in my heart towards parents with misbehaving children?  Those things are true, but not what I am thinking about.

I have always liked children.  I started babysitting at a young age, loved the nanny job that I had my first year out of college, and I intentionally sit beside children who are traveling alone on airplanes (really!).  But now my liking children has somehow morphed into a crazy love for my own baby and fascination with every little thing she does.  I am delighted and entertained when she makes a new clicking sound, when her first tooth starts to show up in her little gummy mouth, and when she stops nursing to grin at her daddy who has just burped loudly from the other side of the living room.  There is no sound in the world that is more lovely than her laughter. 

Having Zoe makes me more interested in other peoples' kids too.  I used to think that babies were a little boring and prefer kids who can talk.  Now I see that babies communicate in lots of ways!  And every friends' baby is a potential friend for little Zoe as she grows up.  :)

Yes, being a mommy is hard work.  There are times when I am very tired but Zoe will not sleep.  Sometimes I can't figure out how to comfort her.  There are many things that I used to be able to do but cannot do now.  But somehow even sleep deprivation and baby cries cannot take away the deep well of love and admiration that I feel towards my little Zoe.  I am so amazingly blessed to have her in my life.  She is so beautiful and so fun!  I love watching her interact with people, herself, and her world.

I have been thinking about my fascination with Zoe and my love for her, and am reminded that God interacts with us as our parent.  He has adopted us as His precious children.  Is He as excited about my "baby steps" and development as I am about Zoe's?  Does He really have a deep well of unconditional love for me and for each of us?  I know in my head that the answers are yes and yes!  But somehow this seems very significant and like something that I need to think more about.

How has being a parent changed your understanding of God's love?

A New Normal

I hardly know where to begin.  There are so many things that seemed very weird (or you could say "foreign") just a few months ago, but are "normal" now.  This is all part of adapting to living in a different culture and a different place.  I will share a few of these things with you, and pasti (definitely) write about more in a future blog entry.  :)

Transportation
Almost everyone drives a motorcycle or scooter here and the rules are:

1. Drive wherever you want (yes, officially you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road, but you can drive anywhere as long as you don't hit another vehicle, person, chicken, etc.).

2.  Transport as many people and as much stuff as possible.

3.  Bigger vehicles have the right-of-way (in other words, if you want to stay alive then don't get in the way of a bus!).

transporting goldfish

Babies/Children
Children and babies are universally loved and admired here.  I now expect almost every person I see to want to touch and/or talk about Zoe.  If I take her out of her carrier or stroller shopkeepers will hold her for me while I shop, people I just met will pass her around when I am visiting someone who had a family member die, neighbors and complete strangers offer to babysit her.  I love how Zoe breaks the ice for conversations.  I practice some very simple Indonesian:

"Tidur?" "Ya, dia tidur." "Dia mengantuk tetapi dia belum tidur." "Dia bangun."
(translation: "Is she sleeping?" "Yes, she's asleep." "She's tired but not yet sleeping." "She's awake.")

"Berapa bulan?" "Hampir enam." "Sudah besar, ya!"
("How many months old?" "Almost 6." "She's already big!" Saying that a baby or child is big, and even fat, is a compliment here.)

Zoe visiting with our neighbors

Children are so highly valued here that as soon as a couple gets married they start trying to have their first child.  After having one child it is normal to wait for a while (5 years or so) before having another.  And the government here strongly encourages families to only have two children (because of overpopulation).  Some people have more than two children, but they have to pay additional money to put their "extra" children through school.  There are billboards and signs on cars that say "Dua Anak Cukup" (Two Children Enough) and there is a picture of a person holding up two fingers, one that looks like a boy and one that looks like a girl.  My Indonesian friends ask why Americans often wait so long before having children.  Also, why do Americans have their children so close together?  And why such large families?  I realized that I am getting used to the culture here because I was not surprised when one of my teachers who got married in August got pregnant right away.  I understood that she was very happy and that I didn't need to feel sorry for her to have such a short amount of time to get to know her husband before having a child.  That is just not how people think about things here.  This is a hard culture to struggle with infertility in.  On the other hand, it is easy to figure out how long most people have been married...just add about a year to the age of their oldest child.

I think that I will write about more of my "new normal" another day.  I read recently that it is important to write often when you have a blog.  I have not been very good at this!  Language school started back up today so tonight I am writing as I procrastinate from doing my homework.

Blessings to all of you who are reading this. I hope it is interesting to you!  Please let me know if there are things about my experiences here in Indonesia that you would like me to share about.  :)

With love,
Joy

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

...or maybe it isn't feeling much like Christmas at all.

How will we celebrate our first Christmas here in Indonesia?

Right now I am empathizing with the Whoos in Whoville after the Grinch stole their Christmas stuff.  Is it still Christmastime when we don't have any snow, real Christmas trees, cool weather, and red or green clothing?  Can we celebrate without an abundance of decorations and presents?  How do we celebrate Christmas without a Christmas eve candlelight service at church (my favorite church service of the entire year)?  It is hard to even find the ingredients to make the foods that we usually enjoy this time of year (molasses for cookies, roast beef, etc.).

In town searching for baking ingredients.

The parallel between my first Christmas here and The Grinch that Stole Christmas is not a perfect one.  I think that the point of that story was that, for the Whoos, Christmas was not about stuff (decorations, toys, food) but was about people.  I don't have the stuff or most of the people who are important to me.  My Christmas traditions have always centered around spending time with family.  Now I live half a world away from these people who I love.  How can we celebrate Christmas without being able to be with our parents, siblings, and extended family?

Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' birth over 2,000 years ago.
"Joy to the world, the Lord is come.  Let earth receive her King.  Let every heart prepare Him room and heaven and nature sing..."

Jesus wasn't born into a snowy climate.  There were no Christmas trees, and the presents came from the wise men about 2 years later.  Jesus didn't get to meet his grandparents and aunts and uncles when he was born.  His parents had traveled far from home.  Yet, his birth was celebrated by angels and shepherds.  "Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord" (Luke 2:10-11).  The point of Christmas is that Jesus left his beautiful home in Heaven and became human, was born as a baby, so that He could be the Savior for all people.  I have also left my home and moved far away.  I am obviously not the Savior, but I am here to be a blessing to people and to hopefully point towards the Giver of Life.

So I am hoping this Christmas that, while I know I will miss my family, friends, food, decorations, and traditions, I will also have a new understanding of the real meaning of Christmas.  I will post later about our search for Christmas decorations and the Christmasy things that we do get to participate in.  But for now I am encouraged to think about how Christmas is about the Incarnation...God becoming like us.  And by trying to live a different culture I am in a small way participating in a God-activity right here and now.


Please teach me the meaning of Christmas, Jesus, and help me not to be sad about what I am missing but to be thankful for the joy that you bring to the world...

My Parents' Visit and Thanksgiving

I have sooooo much to be thankful for!

My parents made the 40 hour trip to come and visit us here in Indonesia for two weeks!  Zoe, their first grandchild, was the main attraction.

Zoe meeting her grandparents at the airport

They brought all sorts of presents and treats.  Dad, Daniel, and I played over 100 hands of 3-handed bridge.  Mom helped Zoe learn to roll over (on her 4 month birthday) and do other tricks.  Having my parents here made me feel like the world is not such a big place after all.  My familiar people, my family, were able to intersect with my new life here.

As an early Christmas present my parents paid for the 5 of us (well, Zoe was free) to go on a little vacation to a beautiful island North of here called Karimunjawa.  Daniel already wrote 4 blog posts telling all about our trip: one two three four.  The snorkeling was amazing--It was like seeing the Discovery Channel in real life.  And it was great experiencing it all with my parents and having them help take care of Zoe.

My parents are looking for shells on this beach

We took a small boat out for 2 half days of snorkeling

Dad came up with the idea of feeding fish cashew nuts

On Thanksgiving Day we celebrated at my house here in Salatiga with my parents and with friends (the other MAF families, another friend from language school, and Ibu Santi who works at my house).  What a lot of fun!  The only food item that I missed was cranberry sauce.  We made pumpkin bread/pudding/pies out of a real pumpkin...no canned pumpkin here!

Our 4 MAF families here have 5 babies (4-7 month olds!) and 6 more children (ages 2-6).  Lots of fun!

My parents left on Friday and it was hard to say goodbye.  Sometimes I feel guilty to live so far away with their lovely grandchild...but I know that we are where we are supposed to be.  We all talked on skype already and heard about their trip home.  Zoe stared intently at the computer screen and even "talked" to them a little.

Do you have any suggestions for long-distance grandparents?

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Becoming Brave (Overcoming Fear)

For me this year has been about being courageous—in Indonesian, berani.  It has taken a lot of courage to move halfway across the world, learn a new language and culture, and birth my first baby in a foreign country.  I need courage each day to drive my scooter to language school because I still am afraid to drive here.  I need courage to try to communicate with people in a language that I am not yet proficient in.  I also need courage to allow friendly people—even strangers—touch and hold my baby. 

A little more on the topic of my baby being touched: Zoe is very popular here.  Girls walking home from school want to touch and kiss her.  Indonesians at restaurants ask to hold her and have their picture taken.  Most people who come near her touch her hand, clap near her face, or poke her cheeks.  She is generally friendly and tolerant.  What a blessing to have an outgoing, smiley baby in a culture where babies are highly valued and always touched!  Zoe opens a door for conversations with new people every day.

So where does the courage to smile when potentially germy people kiss Zoe, drive my little scooter, try to communicate even though I often get things wrong, and generally live so far from “home” come from?  I am encouraged by God, my friends here in Indonesia, and by people who love me and pray for me back home. 

When Joshua was going to lead the Israelite people to the land where God wanted them to live, God told him “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).  I am encouraged because I know that God is just as present here in Indonesia as he is in the United States, in my parents’ home, in my churches, and in any other place on earth.  I do not need to be afraid to live here.

In July I was in labor in the hospital for a full two days before Zoe was born.  When I was exhausted and wondered if I would be able to finish, God reminded me of a verse in the Bible that I memorized as a child: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).  I am so thankful to be following a God who is alive and who helps me in the times of my deepest need!

This morning I was reminded that I am not the only one who needs help overcoming fear daily.  In fact, I think my experience may be normative for a lot of people (or at least women) here (and probably in other places too)!  At my small group fellowship meeting this morning we read Luke 12:6-7 "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.  Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."  Two other women mentioned how this encourages them not be afraid...one even talked about trusting God to protect her children and when driving a scooter! 

What about you?  Are you often afraid?  What helps you to overcome fear and to live your life courageously?