This is a post that I have been meaning to write for some time. It is kind of about nursing my baby. Only kind of....please if you are male and reading my blog and nervous about things like mommies feeding babies don't worry. No details or pictures on this subject, I promise. :)
When I had Zoe and started nursing her I found that sometimes she was hungry but would get her little hands into her mouth instead of eating. I would try to gently move them out of her mouth and help her to latch on so that she could get the nourishment that she needed. Sometimes she would sneak her hands back into her mouth and then get frustrated because sucking on her hands did not fill her stomach. I thought:
Oh little girl, don't you know that milk tastes better than fingers? My silly sweetheart, don't you see that you can't have both food and your hands in your mouth at the same time? Don't you know what is good for you?
Then I heard God's gentle reminder speaking into my soul. What are you trying to satisfy yourself with, my daughter? Let me feed you with the food that you really need...
Psalm 81:10 says "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
The love of a parent
Since having a baby I have changed. "How?" you may ask. Is it that I have adapted to never sleeping more than 5 hours at a time? Or that I have become more patient, learned to slow down when I need to nurse or wait to go out until after Zoe's nap time, gotten used to body function sounds, and grown to feel more grace in my heart towards parents with misbehaving children? Those things are true, but not what I am thinking about.
I have always liked children. I started babysitting at a young age, loved the nanny job that I had my first year out of college, and I intentionally sit beside children who are traveling alone on airplanes (really!). But now my liking children has somehow morphed into a crazy love for my own baby and fascination with every little thing she does. I am delighted and entertained when she makes a new clicking sound, when her first tooth starts to show up in her little gummy mouth, and when she stops nursing to grin at her daddy who has just burped loudly from the other side of the living room. There is no sound in the world that is more lovely than her laughter.
Having Zoe makes me more interested in other peoples' kids too. I used to think that babies were a little boring and prefer kids who can talk. Now I see that babies communicate in lots of ways! And every friends' baby is a potential friend for little Zoe as she grows up. :)
Yes, being a mommy is hard work. There are times when I am very tired but Zoe will not sleep. Sometimes I can't figure out how to comfort her. There are many things that I used to be able to do but cannot do now. But somehow even sleep deprivation and baby cries cannot take away the deep well of love and admiration that I feel towards my little Zoe. I am so amazingly blessed to have her in my life. She is so beautiful and so fun! I love watching her interact with people, herself, and her world.
I have been thinking about my fascination with Zoe and my love for her, and am reminded that God interacts with us as our parent. He has adopted us as His precious children. Is He as excited about my "baby steps" and development as I am about Zoe's? Does He really have a deep well of unconditional love for me and for each of us? I know in my head that the answers are yes and yes! But somehow this seems very significant and like something that I need to think more about.
How has being a parent changed your understanding of God's love?
I have always liked children. I started babysitting at a young age, loved the nanny job that I had my first year out of college, and I intentionally sit beside children who are traveling alone on airplanes (really!). But now my liking children has somehow morphed into a crazy love for my own baby and fascination with every little thing she does. I am delighted and entertained when she makes a new clicking sound, when her first tooth starts to show up in her little gummy mouth, and when she stops nursing to grin at her daddy who has just burped loudly from the other side of the living room. There is no sound in the world that is more lovely than her laughter.
Having Zoe makes me more interested in other peoples' kids too. I used to think that babies were a little boring and prefer kids who can talk. Now I see that babies communicate in lots of ways! And every friends' baby is a potential friend for little Zoe as she grows up. :)
Yes, being a mommy is hard work. There are times when I am very tired but Zoe will not sleep. Sometimes I can't figure out how to comfort her. There are many things that I used to be able to do but cannot do now. But somehow even sleep deprivation and baby cries cannot take away the deep well of love and admiration that I feel towards my little Zoe. I am so amazingly blessed to have her in my life. She is so beautiful and so fun! I love watching her interact with people, herself, and her world.
I have been thinking about my fascination with Zoe and my love for her, and am reminded that God interacts with us as our parent. He has adopted us as His precious children. Is He as excited about my "baby steps" and development as I am about Zoe's? Does He really have a deep well of unconditional love for me and for each of us? I know in my head that the answers are yes and yes! But somehow this seems very significant and like something that I need to think more about.
How has being a parent changed your understanding of God's love?
A New Normal
I hardly know where to begin. There are so many things that seemed very weird (or you could say "foreign") just a few months ago, but are "normal" now. This is all part of adapting to living in a different culture and a different place. I will share a few of these things with you, and pasti (definitely) write about more in a future blog entry. :)
Transportation
Almost everyone drives a motorcycle or scooter here and the rules are:
1. Drive wherever you want (yes, officially you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road, but you can drive anywhere as long as you don't hit another vehicle, person, chicken, etc.).
2. Transport as many people and as much stuff as possible.
3. Bigger vehicles have the right-of-way (in other words, if you want to stay alive then don't get in the way of a bus!).
Babies/Children
Children and babies are universally loved and admired here. I now expect almost every person I see to want to touch and/or talk about Zoe. If I take her out of her carrier or stroller shopkeepers will hold her for me while I shop, people I just met will pass her around when I am visiting someone who had a family member die, neighbors and complete strangers offer to babysit her. I love how Zoe breaks the ice for conversations. I practice some very simple Indonesian:
"Tidur?" "Ya, dia tidur." "Dia mengantuk tetapi dia belum tidur." "Dia bangun."
(translation: "Is she sleeping?" "Yes, she's asleep." "She's tired but not yet sleeping." "She's awake.")
"Berapa bulan?" "Hampir enam." "Sudah besar, ya!"
("How many months old?" "Almost 6." "She's already big!" Saying that a baby or child is big, and even fat, is a compliment here.)
Children are so highly valued here that as soon as a couple gets married they start trying to have their first child. After having one child it is normal to wait for a while (5 years or so) before having another. And the government here strongly encourages families to only have two children (because of overpopulation). Some people have more than two children, but they have to pay additional money to put their "extra" children through school. There are billboards and signs on cars that say "Dua Anak Cukup" (Two Children Enough) and there is a picture of a person holding up two fingers, one that looks like a boy and one that looks like a girl. My Indonesian friends ask why Americans often wait so long before having children. Also, why do Americans have their children so close together? And why such large families? I realized that I am getting used to the culture here because I was not surprised when one of my teachers who got married in August got pregnant right away. I understood that she was very happy and that I didn't need to feel sorry for her to have such a short amount of time to get to know her husband before having a child. That is just not how people think about things here. This is a hard culture to struggle with infertility in. On the other hand, it is easy to figure out how long most people have been married...just add about a year to the age of their oldest child.
I think that I will write about more of my "new normal" another day. I read recently that it is important to write often when you have a blog. I have not been very good at this! Language school started back up today so tonight I am writing as I procrastinate from doing my homework.
Blessings to all of you who are reading this. I hope it is interesting to you! Please let me know if there are things about my experiences here in Indonesia that you would like me to share about. :)
With love,
Joy
Transportation
Almost everyone drives a motorcycle or scooter here and the rules are:
1. Drive wherever you want (yes, officially you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road, but you can drive anywhere as long as you don't hit another vehicle, person, chicken, etc.).
2. Transport as many people and as much stuff as possible.
3. Bigger vehicles have the right-of-way (in other words, if you want to stay alive then don't get in the way of a bus!).
 |
| transporting goldfish |
Babies/Children
Children and babies are universally loved and admired here. I now expect almost every person I see to want to touch and/or talk about Zoe. If I take her out of her carrier or stroller shopkeepers will hold her for me while I shop, people I just met will pass her around when I am visiting someone who had a family member die, neighbors and complete strangers offer to babysit her. I love how Zoe breaks the ice for conversations. I practice some very simple Indonesian:
"Tidur?" "Ya, dia tidur." "Dia mengantuk tetapi dia belum tidur." "Dia bangun."
(translation: "Is she sleeping?" "Yes, she's asleep." "She's tired but not yet sleeping." "She's awake.")
"Berapa bulan?" "Hampir enam." "Sudah besar, ya!"
("How many months old?" "Almost 6." "She's already big!" Saying that a baby or child is big, and even fat, is a compliment here.)
 | |
| Zoe visiting with our neighbors |
Children are so highly valued here that as soon as a couple gets married they start trying to have their first child. After having one child it is normal to wait for a while (5 years or so) before having another. And the government here strongly encourages families to only have two children (because of overpopulation). Some people have more than two children, but they have to pay additional money to put their "extra" children through school. There are billboards and signs on cars that say "Dua Anak Cukup" (Two Children Enough) and there is a picture of a person holding up two fingers, one that looks like a boy and one that looks like a girl. My Indonesian friends ask why Americans often wait so long before having children. Also, why do Americans have their children so close together? And why such large families? I realized that I am getting used to the culture here because I was not surprised when one of my teachers who got married in August got pregnant right away. I understood that she was very happy and that I didn't need to feel sorry for her to have such a short amount of time to get to know her husband before having a child. That is just not how people think about things here. This is a hard culture to struggle with infertility in. On the other hand, it is easy to figure out how long most people have been married...just add about a year to the age of their oldest child.
I think that I will write about more of my "new normal" another day. I read recently that it is important to write often when you have a blog. I have not been very good at this! Language school started back up today so tonight I am writing as I procrastinate from doing my homework.
Blessings to all of you who are reading this. I hope it is interesting to you! Please let me know if there are things about my experiences here in Indonesia that you would like me to share about. :)
With love,
Joy
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