Giving Thanks

Well, Thanksgiving Day has come and gone here, and the next day has too (though my friends in the US may be just starting Black Friday shopping).

This has been a full week for us. On Monday we flew to Sentani and drove to Jayapura for our annual trip to the Immigration office. At Immigration we each had our photo taken, and they also like to take our fingerprints (with a little electronic machine). We each got a different amount of fingerprinting done...they didn't even try to take Zach's fingerprints (thanks!), Ariella's were too small to work (though they tried for a while), Zoe's left thumb was used for every print, after one failed try they decided that my fingerprints from last time would work well for me, and they got all of Daniel's fingerprints without too many re-tries. We actually were in and out of the office in record time! We had a late lunch at KFC. The play area was nice, and about half of the things on the menu were available. In the afternoon the girls had a fun time playing with friends who they don't get to see very often.

Tuesday was another travel day, as we flew home. I really enjoy the scenery when we fly!

Wednesday we celebrated Ariella's 3rd birthday. I host preschool at my house most Wednesday mornings, so we had cake and ice cream at preschool and invited friends over to help us eat more cake and ice cream at dinner time.

Thursday we had a non-traditional Thanksgiving. Holidays away from family are hard for me. Some people work very hard to make the same foods and to make the holidays feel familiar. I didn't have energy for that this year. Daniel took time off and we invited friends who are visiting Wamena to go to White Sands (a place with lots of....you guessed it...white sand) where the kids had fun playing and exploring while we talked. Right as we were turning into the driveway to park at White Sands, a family on a motorcycle tried to pass us on the outside of the road. I am so thankful that no one was hurt in the accident that ensued, and that the vehicles were barely damaged. Zoe is still processing with me her thoughts about what happened, how to prevent it (there was nothing we could have done!), and about the people who fell off their motorcycle. Driving in a place where there are no enforced traffic laws can be a little bit scary.

We had pancakes for dinner.

Today--Friday--we decorated for Christmas. I love seeing the kids' wonder and delight at the lights and tree! Daniel found the nails already installed on the porch for hanging lights. Zach looked pretty interested when he woke up from his nap to see the Christmas tree. This will be his first Christmas! I cooked a little chicken with some onions and potatoes in the crock pot, hoping that would feel enough like a normal Thanksgiving meal to seem special.

Tomorrow I plan to bake a pie and take it to a Thanksgiving dessert get-together in the evening.

And that is my week! My emotions have been up and down. I miss family and friends. I miss being a kid and playing games at my grandparents' houses on holidays. Being an adult is tiring and sometimes I feel like a failure at it. I also miss seasons. Fall is gone and some places even have snow, but I'm still living in eternal summer.

The inside of my house looks like Christmas. Outside the rain is pounding on green grass and flower beds filled with blooming flowers including zinnias, dahlias, cosmos, forget-me-nots, impatiens, salvia,and amaryllis. This is a beautiful place to live. I like having a slower pace of life and having time and regular interactions with my neighbors and co-workers. I love that my husband is able to provide much-needed help to people who live in hard-to-reach places and might otherwise be overlooked.

I have been encouraged by these verses from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 in the Bible:
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
I like that it says to give thanks IN all circumstances, not FOR all circumstances. I don't need to be thankful that I most likely won't see my extended family for at least another year. But while I'm missing them, I can give thanks for the things that I am thankful for: 3 years already with my Ariella, Zoe's growth and thoughtfulness, Zach's new things: a 7th tooth and pulling up, Daniel's partnership in this sometimes-crazy life, my God who loves me, flowers, rain, friendship, hope, health, Christmas decorations, being alive...
When I feel homesick, sad, left out, incompetent, I try to remember to breathe. Breathe in and out...give grace to myself and others, give thanks to God in the midst of my swirling emotions and circumstances...

I know that my feelings of homesickness pale in comparison to the depths of grief that some of my friends are experiencing right now. My feelings of apprehension regarding driving here (actually, I have only ridden along, not driven a car since arriving here 8 months ago) also are not very bad compared to the fear and terror that others are going through. Some people may tell you that God has caused the circumstances that are filling you with grief or fear. I am not so sure about that. I don't believe that God causes evil. What I have written today is mostly about the small details of my life and feelings. I hope that if you are reading this and are in a time of deep pain or struggle, you will understand that you do not need to be thankful FOR the circumstances that are hard. Choose instead to be thankful for something while IN the midst of your circumstances.

Something that I think will help me to enjoy these holidays away from family is to invite someone or some family over to share them with. May I have the eyes to see who else is a little bit down or lonely.

Decorating the Christmas tree with 2 cute elves.

Story time tonight.

Some of my flowers in the rain.

Birthday girl. :)

Thoughts on Mother's Day

First of all, I am so grateful for the moms in my life... For my mom who has loved me well and speaks truth and wisdom. She is the "glue" of my family of origin, reasonable, hard-working, always serving us and praying for us. I love going clothes shopping with her, going for long walks together, and watching her love her grandchildren!

And for my mother-in-law who is so very loving and accepting of me and has raised my husband. I love watching her love her grandchildren too! She comes up with fun ideas...making giant bubbles, snowmen, flower gardens.

I also am so very grateful for my children who make me a mom.

They get a little crazy at bedtime!

As I've enjoyed their hugs today I have also been thinking about the baby I lost (miscarried at 14 weeks in December 2012). She or he would be 3 years old later this month. I am thinking of and praying for others who I know have lost children or who want to have children but have not been able to. Mother's Day is a wonderful day and can be a really hard day too. My dear friend Emily wrote about how hard this day is for her this year here. I hope that if Mother's Day is hard for you (perhaps because your mom is no longer alive, was not loving, or you have lost a child or been unable to have children) that you are able to grieve and are able to receive love from God and/or from someone important to you. Much love to each of you today!

Ordinary Beauty

My days are filled with small things...small people (my kids and neighbor kids), small steps towards growth (in patience, love, communication, friendship, physical exercise etc.), and many small delights (flowers, conversations, laughter, rainbows). Please enjoy with me a few of the ordinary things (in my home and around the area where I live) that I have noticed that are very beautiful.

Who can resist a baby's beautiful smile? :)

This is an amazing fern-covered fence!

Ariella with the beautiful fence.

A beautiful day! And fun on the swings!

The beauty of gently holding a baby rabbit.

Ariella is picking flowers with a very sweet Indonesian girl.

This is Zoe playing "airport"...a game where she brings her doll in her stroller to the airplane that she sets up (plastic chairs in front of the washing machine). The stroller is stowed under the sink, and then she and her baby (or babies) travel to Indonesia. One day when playing this I explained to her that Indonesia is where we live now...and she told me that Indonesia is her "favorite world." I think the beauty of her creativity and play and happiness to be here is delightful!

A rainbow seen from our back yard.

Daniel reading a bedtime story to Zechariah.

Zoe enjoying the beautiful fire pit.

I hope you enjoy these glimpses into my life. Life with my kids seems to take more patience than I have and some things in my life seem to take more courage than I can muster up. But I am trusting God to help me to be patient and brave. And gratitude for the beauty around me helps me as I slowly grow and learn. Where do you see beauty in the ordinary things in your life?

He Restores my Soul

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

During the last couple of months I have been praying Psalm 23 when I wake up in the morning, before I fall asleep at night, and other times when I think of it. The line "He restores (or refreshes) my soul" has really stuck out to me. As I was exhausted and not sure why life felt so difficult I cried out to God "please restore my soul!"

I have been back in the US for just over 2 weeks now. I am so grateful to be here. I feel like I am slowly unwinding.There are things that I am excited about doing...dreams...possibilities. My heart is more peaceful. I am better able to see God around me. And my husband is so much happier than he has been in a long time.

God is answering my prayer. He is refreshing and restoring me.

Thank you for praying for me (us) too! I am really excited because next month I will get to see my family (and introduce cute Ariella to everyone).

We just finished dinner and the sun is shining on me, Ariella is giggling and growling, Zoe is happily chatting with Daniel who is setting up the bike trailer to take her for a spin around the neighborhood. Breathe. Enjoy this time. Be refreshed, my soul.

How about you? What is the prayer of your heart during this season in your life?

On My Birthday

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday.

I woke up and chose to be happy. We have been struggling with discouragement and feelings of burn out, so I decided that happiness on my birthday would be my choice. Daniel left for his first flight, and I cared for and enjoyed my little girls. I decided to take a day off from laundry, except for diapers. When I went out to hang the diapers I found a present on my porch--cookies and a balloon! Zoe and I enjoyed the cookies for breakfast and she danced and danced around the house with the balloon.

I skyped for an hour with my parents and one of my sisters. I even got to say goodnight to my little niece! It was nice to "see" family on my birthday. While we talked, Ariella took a nap and Zoe played happily all by herself.

At 10am we went to my friend/neighbor/coworker Anja's house. She and I have the same birthday! She made a really yummy cake with berries in it to celebrate! After we ate cake we learned that there had been an airplane accident earlier this morning and the pilot Bob Roberts, with the Adventist mission, died. This was surprising and shocking to me. I know Bob and Jan just a little bit...I buy whole wheat flour and brown rice from Jan and enjoy her beautiful piano playing at the concerts that she organizes. I have heard stories about Bob and the dental work that he did when he had extra time. They have served and blessed people here in Papua for a LONG time! And now, suddenly, Jan is a widow. Their airplane--a Quest Kodiak, the same kind that Daniel flies--is broken into pieces and partly burned.

I wondered...should I still choose to be happy today when there is such a good reason to be sad? I could not come up with an answer to that question. A birthday is when we celebrate the gift of life, the presence of a person. Life is a wonderful gift, even though it can be so suddenly snuffed out.

I felt very serious yesterday (still do). In the afternoon I baked cupcakes and made ice cream. We went for a family walk on the runway before eating a dinner of leftover pumpkin soup, cucumber slices (Zoe had ketchup on hers!) and cupcakes. And that was my birthday. I enjoyed the cuteness of my little people, hugged Daniel nice and tight, ate more sugar than I should have, and was grateful that God chose to create me and helped my mother give birth to me (via. emergency c-section) 33 years ago.

You can read more about Bob and Jan Roberts here. Please pray for Jan, their 3 adult children, and their many friends. Much love to you all!

Four Months

Ariella is 4 months old today! I am so grateful for my lovely, healthy baby! She smiles, coos, and laughs when she is held and talked to. I love watching Ariella admire her big sister Zoe. This morning Daniel took the two of them outside. He decided that Ariella would enjoy playing in the grass.

Happy 4 month birthday, Little Love!

Margaret and Andy's Visit

I feel very blessed that my youngest sister Margaret and her husband traveled all the way around the world to come and visit us! Here are a few photos and highlights from their visit:

enjoying mango juice

Zoe got to feed deer (in Bogor, near Jakarta)

We visited a beautiful botanical garden. Complete with huge trees and lovely tropical flowers.

Andy and Margaret with a view of the city of Sentani, Papua where we live.

The pasar (market).

Zoe loved the extra attention that she received from Margaret and Andy.

We visited a river, Kali Biru (Blue River).

Floating down the river in the jungle!

At the beach!

It was so nice to have family members here to show around, have everyday life with, and play board games with! Zoe loves her aunt and uncle (she calls Andy "Annie"). It was good to also see our life here through another set of eyes.

The beach is very nice here! Maybe we will get some more visitors sometime soon... ??? (It's expensive and takes forever to get here....but feel invited!)

Climbing the Elephant's Back

Today we took Zoe on her first hike.  It was also my first hike in many months.  There was something amazingly wonderfully great about being outdoors in the sunshine exploring a small mountain! 

Daniel navigated us there on our motorcycle with the help of his GPS.  We only turned around three times.  He even asked a couple of men for directions when we got close.  We drove the motorcycle up the first 100 meters of the trail to see if we were in the right place.  Then we met a family who insisted that we park our  motorcycle inside their house!  They invited us in, and, while I nursed Zoe, Daniel ate the vegetables and rice that they eagerly served him.  They were sure that Zoe was too small to go on a hike and would get very hot and they tried as hard as they could to convince us to leave her with them while we hiked the mountain.  We wanted this to be a family hike, though, so we politely declined the offer.

All the way up the mountain we walked on a small footpath.  This was a cultivated mountain--it was terraced and people grew vegetables there.  We also saw people harvesting grass and sticks which they carried down on their backs, heads, or on scooters.  The views were wonderful on our way.  We saw several other beautiful and bigger mountains, including Mt. Merbabu which Daniel has already hiked once and hopes to hike again.  That hike is too difficult to do with a baby.  But this hike wasn't!  I was full of energy.  The air was cooler there than at our house because of the higher elevation.  It felt refreshing!

On top of Gunung Gajah something-or-other (Mountain Elephant's Back, but we can't remember the Javanese word for back) there was a rock marker that is a virtual geo-cache.  We took our photo with the rock and then headed down.

Zoe slept for most of our hike.  We put a thin blanket over her when it was sunny to protect her skin.  As we neared the base and the house of our new friends, we were made sure the blanket did not cover her head, so they would not worry about her ability to breath.  We visited again for a little while, and then headed home for lunch.

Here is our adventure in photos:

Starting up the mountain

Note the ladies carrying grass and sticks

Mt. Telemoyo

Family photo!

Mt. Merbabu

This is the marker at the top of the mountain.  Daniel is showing off his GPS,

Zoe slept a lot!

Mt. Merbabu again. 

Daniel parked the motorcycle inside this house

The kind people who asked us to park at their house and offered us food and water.  This is a husband, wife, and their 5-year-old granddaughter.

I hope you enjoyed the pictures.  I think that hiking is going to become a regular family activity for us!  On the drive home I realized that today I wore the same shirt that I wore when I hiked up Mt. Washington a year ago August.  That was pre-Zoe, pre-pregnancy, pre-Indonesia.  Somehow it was comforting in my life that is filled with changes to see that I still am hiking and wearing the same shirt.

I was so happy all the way home that I wanted to dance and sing (but I didn't, because that would be dangerous on a motorcycle).

What has made you feel happy and grateful lately?  What do you enjoy doing with your family?